Just received my copy of the new album, Dissolution, by The Pineapple Thief. Really looking forward to seeing them in London next month.
Take a look at the video for Try As I Might.
Dissolution
How To Listen
Poor listening skills hold people back in two ways. Firstly, a failure to listen can alienate others. Secondly, when you fail to listen you fail to learn. As the fourteenth Dalai Lama said, “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know”.
Here are six simple tips for more effective listening:
- Adopt an attitude that everyone can teach you something.
- Don’t interrupt. People often have the tendency to jump in and “add value” to the conversation. Avoid this trap.
- Actively listen. Try nodding or making notes.
- Ask questions. When the other person has finished speaking ask questions to clarify what they are saying.
- Paraphrase. This reassures the speaker that you were listening and understand the point they are making. But don’t fall into the trap of trying to reframe their point to fit your own agenda.
- Don’t judge. Even if you disagree with them, you need to first fully understand what they’re saying before you can explore the conversation more deeply.
The Work
This documentary film is a challenging watch, but worth the effort. It’s also, I think, particularly important for men (or those who want to better understand men) to watch. The film-makers sum it up as follows:
“Set in Folsom prison, a group of men from the outside participate in a group therapy session with convicts, many of them violent offenders. In the space of four days, prisoners and free men alike engage in a weekend of deeply intimate conversations in which they reveal their darkest fears, dangerously repressed memories, and their most complex feelings. The resulting drama is a fascinating exercise in emotional exorcism.”
It was undoubtedly moving, but I wondered a little whether it translates well to our more reserved, “keep calm and carry on” culture.
You can see the trailer here.