Poor listening skills hold people back in two ways. Firstly, a failure to listen can alienate others. Secondly, when you fail to listen you fail to learn. As the fourteenth Dalai Lama said, “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know”.
Here are six simple tips for more effective listening:
- Adopt an attitude that everyone can teach you something.
- Don’t interrupt. People often have the tendency to jump in and “add value” to the conversation. Avoid this trap.
- Actively listen. Try nodding or making notes.
- Ask questions. When the other person has finished speaking ask questions to clarify what they are saying.
- Paraphrase. This reassures the speaker that you were listening and understand the point they are making. But don’t fall into the trap of trying to reframe their point to fit your own agenda.
- Don’t judge. Even if you disagree with them, you need to first fully understand what they’re saying before you can explore the conversation more deeply.